Time for Some Tough Love

tough loveDid you know that September is  supposed to be THE best month of the year in which to instigate changes? Me neither, but I keep reading articles telling me this is the case and, as an ex-teacher, September still has a special ‘new term, new start’ vibe about it for me. (Combined with a mysterious desire to sharpen pencils and buy brand new stationery!)

And maybe you have come back from your summer holiday all refreshed and raring to go and have decided that NOW is the time to put that brilliant business idea you’ve been ‘thinking about’ well and truly at the top of your agenda.

Or maybe not?

Maybe you know all too well that this is exactly what you need to do to bring your business aspirations to fruition…. and yet, you find yourself strangely reluctant to DO anything about it?

tough love2If so, you are certainly NOT alone – I know from personal experience the great lengths many of us go to in order to preserve the very situation that we want to change!

This usually involves a fair bit of moaning, blaming, procrastinating and making excuses when what we really WANT is for someone to give us a great big hug and tell us that everything will be alright.

That might well be what we WANT…. but is it actually what we NEED? (I’m thinking you probably know the answer to this already, don’t you?)

Sometimes, what we need is a big dose of tough love to go with the great big hug! It’s the strategy parents often use to great effect to help their children learn those indispensable life lessons or face up to some unpalatable truths. It’s never particularly easy but we do it knowing we’re being ‘cruel to be kind’, knowing we have their very best interests at heart and knowing it comes from a place of love. (It’s also part of the strategy I use in my coaching programmes where caring support is combined with the occasional prod!)

Well, I’d like to ask you to think about providing the same supportive service to yourself and perhaps you’ll allow me to get the ‘tough love’ ball rolling for you. (And as you read, remember, I AM being cruel to be kind, I DO have your best interests at heart and this really DOES come from a place of love.)

      • The person who needs to make and take no excuses is YOU.
      • Money, circumstances and other people may be factors, but could it be that the biggest obstacle stopping you getting where you want to be is YOU?
      • Change doesn’t happen without taking action and the only person who can do that is YOU.
      • The responsibility to make the most of this precious opportunity rests solely with YOU.


I know, I know… it seems harsh when written like that, but getting tough with yourself is actually a loving gesture IF it means you let go of the excuses that are keeping you stuck and IF it means you stop being all wishy-washy and you take responsibility for making the changes you want to happen, actually happen.

So… really consider those things you’ve been ‘thinking about’. Take an honest look, ask some honest questions and explore the link between your current situation and your current actions.

Give yourself some tough love – or find someone who will.



Time for Some Tough Love — 4 Comments

  1. I have just sorted out moving to self hosted after lots of thinking about it. Once the migration is complete I need to be really tough with myself to make sure it is a success for the right reasons. Many thanks for giving me my framework.
    Julia recently posted…Thanks from Sir Ran! My Profile

    • Well done on moving from thinking to action Julia – getting the ball rolling is very often the hardest part! Hopefully now you’ve started you won’t need to be tough with yourself but just ‘nurture your momentum’ instead.
      All the very best.
      K x

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